The Person In The Mirror

Who is the person in the mirror?

I am a person of faith who believes without seeing, yet lives in a world where people seem to believe what they see; in a mirror, on a scale, sizes on clothes I am an athlete who strives for perfection in practice and the only thing that matters is the perfect score I am a student A student of life, who must be perfect in everything I do, I apologize for every little mistake, and cringe when I don’t catch on as quickly as everyone else

I am a child that wants to be loved, to belong, to be heard and know that I am perfect just as I am This is what I want and yet I am so afraid to ask for it

Instead, I am a child that stands in front of my mirror, finding the many things I hate about myself, and a child who showers in water so hot, wishing it would melt the fat right off my body

I am a child who eats less food in hopes that it leads to more weight loss A child who is in tears after getting off the scale for the 10th time, realizing the numbers did not change

I am the child who binges on gallons of ice cream hoping to forget about the scale

I am the child who runs to get laxatives hoping they will make me feel clean and whole I am a child who exercises constantly, because the half bowl of chicken noodle soup was just too much

I am a child that uses drugs and alcohol in hopes that it they will bring happiness

I am constantly moving, never sitting still, unless I am sleeping I lay in bed contemplating life and my place in it Dear God, if you get me through this, I promise never to do this again, and in the next breath I break that promise

I am a child who isolates from all those I love, for fear that I will hurt them, by saying or doing the wrong thing The one who eats/binges/drinks in private because if you didn’t see me do it then it didn’t really happen

I do not want to be like this – it is all I have to keep me safe I make it look like I am in control, while I destroy my own body I want to die because I don’t know how to live
Suicide would be easier than living in this hell

How do I tell you I have an Eating Disorder? I am chained in a prison of fear

Who am I?

I am called by many names: Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Aunt, Uncle, Niece, Nephew and Friend

I am all ages, creeds, colors and economic backgrounds I am many, too many, whose lives have been cut short by the effects of this disease

Do you know the person in the mirror?

Why should we care? Everybody is Somebody’s child

Mary Pat is motivated to share her lost life with her 21 year battle with an eating disorder in hopes that someone else might find theirs http://wwwreflectingracecom

Tags | alcohol, drinks, faith, laxatives, mistake, noodle, perfect, result, suicide, weight